I owe you an apology. The other day when I told you that "Your incompetence and fuck up-ery is equal only to the ugliness of that thing you call a face..." That was wrong. I shouldn't have said that.
After much deliberation with HR, I realize now that what I should have said was "Your incredible aptitude for ruining everything I might have tolerated about a given day remains your ugliest attribute. Except for that thing you call a face."
They tell me it's all in the wording.
Sorry,
Your coworker