Move Your Ass. Literally.

Dear coworker,

I can constantly see the crack in your butt. Always. It's never not visible. You should do something about that.

Or not. Whatever, it's your butt I guess.

But just know that everyone can see it. And nobody wants to. But if you keep it this conspicuous we'll have no choice but to look at it. We can't look away. It's gross, yes, but it's also entrancing in a very peculiar way.

You know those Magic Eye puzzles that were all the rage in middle school? Well, the crack of your butt is nothing like those. But we were all hoping that if you were going to keep the tip of butt mountain outside of your pants that maybe you could glue one of those Magic Eye puzzles overtop it so that we would feel less awkward about staring in that general vicinity for such a long time.

Oh, and your fly is down. You hot mess, you.

All the butts best,
Your coworker

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