Please stop making comments about everyone's necks. The size. The shape. The "lick-ability."
We're all pretty sure that you're joking, but we're also positive that we don't like it. Seriously, what a creepy fucking joke to make. Repeatedly. And if you're not joking...don't tell us. I think I can speak for everyone when I say none of us would ever sleep again if we found out you meant any of it.
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| And there would not be nearly enough turtlenecks in stock on Amazon to make our office feel comfortable again. |
I just shuddered so hard at the thought of that I messed up the sentence I was about to type. That's how terrified I am that you might really have a thing for people's necks.
It's just...necks?? Really?? WHY?? It has to be the least tantalizing physical feature. Except maybe knees. God, you don't have a thing for knees too, do you? Are you only staring at our necks because our dress code requires us to cover our knees?
...But you're joking. I think. Or you're a vampire. Either way, this is the dumbest thing I've ever had to scold someone for.
Just neck it off,
Your coworker
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