Another Small Joke.

Coworker,

I have a little joke for you. A-hem...

Knock knock.

(I'm going to assume you're saying "Who's there?" aloud to help me out with this rather than being a total dickbag about it, staring awkwardly at the screen wondering why I've chosen this kind of call-and-response joke structure.)

Howie.

(Again, a little assistance from you with the "Howie who?" would be nice right here. So say it. Say it!!)

Howie gonna get our coworker to stop chortling at every stupid fucking thing somebody says? Not everything is funny! In fact, most things people say around here are incredibly bland and/or depressing.

Like, why would you laugh about someone getting cancer? It isn't even rectal cancer, which is the only type of cancer it's even slightly acceptable to laugh about. (Even then you laugh by yourself, when you're positive no one else can hear what kind of insensitive monster you are.)

Hell, pretty much everything I've ever said at work falls into one of two groups: A) an incoherent mush of words that no one can understand because it's too early in the morning/too late in the day/too hard to concentrate over the sound of my conscience screaming at me for still being employed at this wreckage of a company, or B) another stupid joke about Kim Kardashian. And I'm well aware jokes about Kim Kardashian have reached their expiration date. But I was hoping if I made enough jokes about Kim Kardashian people would stop talking to me altogether...as that's my dream. But sadly, you--and only you--still laugh uncontrollably at them. If I added in a well-worn slight about Paris Hilton you'd probably poop your pants and have to be committed to a mental institution because the guffaws would never stop.

So...Howie gonna get you to stop laughing at all of the dumb? Huh? HOWIE GONNA DO THAT???


Sincerely wanting to beat the chuckles out of you,
Your Coworker