I noticed that my vacation request for next week was denied. That's a real bummer, you see, because I had major plans coming up for that week. But you already knew that; you read my request.
So I have just one question: do the words "Saved by the Bell marathon" mean nothing to you?
Maybe I understated it when I wrote "Saved by the Bell marathon!!!!" as my reason for needing some time off. First of all, I should have used at least another three exclamation points to describe the importance of such an epic vacation. But I left its importance subtly implied, so I'll concede that was probably my mistake.
But I truly need these days off. As you may know, it's been a stressful few months and...I don't know, it would just really help me, personally, to take a few dozen hours and watch Kelly Kapowski play beach volleyball or sing along with Jessie Spano's rendition of "I'm So Excited." And I'm prepared to spend every hour of the next few days trying to convince you that I deserve this.
Would it sway you at all if I told you they were even including The College Years episodes? Are you one of those SBTB fans?
Also, if it makes you feel any better about letting me take time off for this, what you might call "silliness," I know for a fact that several other people have done and will be doing the exact same thing. So quit hating on my vacation or I'll be forced to pull a patented Zach Morris Timeout (which would involve me throwing up the "T sign" just before throwing my elbow into your face).
To be clear, I don't want it to escalate to that.
Your "preppie" employee