You Say Fun Run, I Say Humdrum

Attention Colleagues:

I have no interest in participating in the Charity Fun Run next month. I know it's for a good cause. I know it would benefit my overall health to train for it. I know it's supposed to be a team building exercise. (Yes, it's a pun. Shut up about it.)

I know, I know, I know! But still...no.

It's not that I have anything against you all, per se, it's just that I have absolutely no desire to see your pasty legs running around in short shorts, nor do I want you to see mine. That's what we call mutually-assured destruction of the eyeballs. And I won't be a part of it.

If you all leave me alone I'll donate five bucks to each of you. That way we all win.

- Your Lazy (And Proud of It) Coworker