To whomever left that cupcake on my desk:
I don't who did this, what this thing is made of, or what the chances are that I will succumb to stomach pains and spontaneous diarrhea after ingesting it. But I'm going to eat that cupcake. I mean I'm really going to town on it and there's not a thing any of you can do about it.
By the time you've read this note, I will have shoved that chocolate chip (?) concoction straight down my gullet. I might have choked on it. Not even my own teeth are going to get in the way of my stomach wrapping itself around that hopefully poison-free treat with what smells like some kind of mocha icing on it.
God damn, are those real coffee grounds as sprinkles????
Thank you to whoever did this. Even if there is a tiny cricket cooked into the middle as an elaborate and thoroughly disturbing prank. I have no qualms with that.
Keep Doing This Forever,
Your coworker
Proof that the workforce breeds equal amounts cruelty and stupidity.
So lucky. All they leave on my desk are cellphones. Because "internets broke". Which turns out to be a lie, which their history will back me up on.
ReplyDeleteThen they tell me it was "only broke on the train", because I care so much to hear that.
I love chocolate cupcakes, I wonder what my coworkers favourite flavour is. I'm going to guess that it's hornets and glass.
They sell those right?